Crash Into Me
by IceByrd67
Summary: Love isn't brains, children. Its blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will!" Spike (Lover's Walk, BTVS Season 3) FINALLY UPDATED AFTER ONE YEAR!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't know anything but Narumi, Kenichi, and Tenshi. And any other character you've never heard of.  
  
Prologue  
  
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"Neal! Neal! Where are you?" Domitan of Masbolle yelled as he rushed down the narrow, poorly lit hallway. He slowed down as he heard the thuds of a long body hitting the floor. Seconds later a door cracked open and a bleary-eyed man stuck his head out.  
  
"What could you possibly want?" Nealan of Queenscove demanded of his cousin. Neal's long chestnut hair was everywhere, as if he had just witnessed a tornado in his room. His eyes were blood-shot and tired, as if he hadn't had any sleep since the beginning of the war, which was now officially over. Truth was, Neal hadn't had a lot of sleep. Kel and the refugees had kept him up and about while he was stationed.  
  
"Are you awake?" Dom asked, not realizing the obvious.  
  
"Well, I do a good impression of sleepwalking, don't I?" Neal said sarcastically, somewhat angry that his cousin had no real reason to wake him.  
  
"I meant 'are you planning to go back to sleep'?" Dom flapped his hand at Neal in impatience.  
  
"Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?" Neal yawned loudly, not bothering to shut him mouth.  
  
"Well, no. I needed your help. You have a better eye at these matters than I do. Which tunic should I wear?" Dom held up to tunics. They were almost identical, save one had silver thread. They were both blue with the same design, only in different coloured thread. Neal stared at Dom for a minute before stepping back and slamming the door shut in Dom's face. "NEAL! I NEED YOUR HELP!"  
  
"MUST YOU SHOUT?" Merric yelled from down the hall where he had been sleeping.  
  
"Sorry!" Dom quipped before returning to bang on Neal's door. The door flew open mid-bang and Neal pulled Dom into his room.  
  
"What's wrong with you? Of all the crack-brained things to be doing before dawn, you're asking me for advice on tunics that look identical?" Neal pushed Dom into a chair and moved to relight the fire that had gone out during the night.  
  
"Well, it's really important." Dom muttered. Neal growled in frustration at the matches and finally used his Gift to light the fire.  
  
"More important than sleep?" Neal growled again, shoving more wood into the fire. "Give me a good reason not to throw you into the fire with the wood?"  
  
"Narumi is arriving today." Dom said, as if this Narumi was the most important reason. He stared at Neal as if Neal were an incompetent idiot.  
  
"Nar-who?" Neal stepped into the closet to change.  
  
"Narumi. Lady Narumi noh Satoya, the most beautiful maiden in all of Tortall, well Yamani." Dom sighed deeply in love with just the thought of the Lady. "And best of all, I'm courting her. Me! Not a single other soul."  
  
"And you need to be up before dawn because.?" Neal muttered.  
  
"To be ready to meet her at Port Caynn, Meathead. Why else? My Lady is coming to Corus for Court. She is to be presented this season." Dom ran long fingers through his hair, bright blue eyes shining.  
  
"HOLY SH--!" Neal yelped, tripping over a chair as he stumbled out of the closet. "I supposed to meet Yuki there today, too!" Neal stumbled about his little, messy room in an attempt to straight it up a bit so that he could find his best tunic.  
  
"Which tunic do I wear?" Dom demanded, raising the two up again. "Answer me, damn it!" He yelled when Neal didn't speak.  
  
"So this is how a men act when they're getting ready for a date or something." An amused voice said clearly and loudly. Both men glanced over to the door. Kelandry of Mindelan stepped over the threshold and pulled something out from under that desk. She threw the object to Neal who nearly burst into tears when he saw it was the tunic he'd been searching for.  
  
"Which tunic, Kel?" Dom held the tunics up to his chest.  
  
"Silver threaded one." Kel answered after a moment. Dom thanked her and rushed out of the room. "May I ask what exactly is going on?"  
  
"Me and Dom have to go down to Port Caynn today to meet Yuki and his Lady." Neal threw his shirt on before throwing the tunic on over it. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was heading to breakfast and heard the noise. Want to go get something to eat?"  
  
"Umm...sure." Neal answered, shoving some things aside so he could walk to the door. He followed her out of the room, latching the door firmly behind him.  
  
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Well, that's it for now!  
  
"You could have mentioned me!"  
  
Shush, Dranic! You aren't supposed to be here!  
  
"I'm your muse. I'm everywhere you go!"  
  
*Stuffs the little fairy man into a jar and corks it off*  
  
Please kindly ignore the annoyance! =P  
  
Now I might have misspelled some places. Sorry about that! Enjoy the wonderfully strange creations of my somewhat insane mind (or in the words of Nick, my 'supernoodle')  
  
~Icebyrd67 (February 15, 2003) 


	2. Dance of Fireflies

Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own anything and if you feel like suing me, I hope you enjoy the feel of money. Because you're going to get a whole whooping 43 cents!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
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Lady Narumi noh Satoya turned swiftly, lifting the heavy glaive up into the air. The blade whistled softly as it cut through the air. Her breath came quicker, shallower as she fought to keep going. The pattern dance she was performing was one of the most difficult one. This dance was taught only to the best warriors and they were usually the top five or so guards of the Emperor and the high priestesses of Yama, the fire goddess. She had been shown the dance only before she left the Yamani Islands the first time.  
  
Narumi's memory was one of the best. She remembered every step of the intricate dance and taught herself the moves while on the ship that took her, Shintokami, Lady Haname noh Ajikuro, Lady Yukimi noh Daiomoru, and the rest of Shinto's marriage train to Tortall.  
  
Narumi twisted the other direction, sweeping the glaive along the ground before swooping up again with the heavy pole arm. She remembered every bit of that trip. It was there that she met Domitan of Masbolle. She remembered his beautiful blue eyes and his well-toned arms and his cultured, yet vulgar voice. She remembered everything about him. Everything right down to his promise to wed her if she would only come back to Tortall. And now she was back in Tortall. Did Domitan still want her? Had he found someone else? Had he found a pretty blond Lady who was allowed to show her emotions? Had he fallen in love with someone else?  
  
Narumi twirled once more and brought the heavy glaive to a stop, two inches away from the nose of the plump, pretty Yukimi, thus ending her conflicting thoughts and elaborate dance.  
  
"That's the Dance of Fireflies." Yuki said, accusingly.  
  
"Yes, I know." Narumi answered, blotting her face with a cold cloth.  
  
"You aren't supposed to know that dance. You know that. The Emperor would have you beheaded if he knew." Yuki whispered in fear.  
  
"Hardly. I highly doubt the Emperor would go as far as behead his own grandchild, much less the one he named 'Daughter of the Sun' not too long ago." Narumi said, as if being a princess wasn't too important. Or as if being named 'Daughter of the Sun' wasn't important as well.  
  
"Another reason for him to be angry with you!"  
  
"You have spent too much time with the Easterners, Lady Yukimi." Narumi placed her hands on her thighs and bowed to the other girl. "Forgive me for saying so." Narumi's eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement. As a first-ranked Princess, she wasn't allowed to show much more emotion. Her ability to control her emotions was one of the reasons she was named 'Daughter of the Sun'. Not only would she become the highest Priestess of Yama, she would be the most powerful warrior of her people.  
  
"It is just as well for no other Yaman would tell you that you are insane to think that you are permitted to know the Dance of Fireflies!" Yuki bowed back to Narumi in respect.  
  
"You know just as well as I do that as 'Daughter of the Sun' I would have to learn the dance anyway. What difference does it make if I learn it now or then? This discussion is over, Yukimi." Narumi pulled open her fan as ungracefully as Kelandry of Mindelan would have and begin to fan away the heat.  
  
"You are just as stubborn as you were when we were children." Yuki muttered in Common.  
  
"And you have always been opposed to all the fun." Narumi didn't miss a beat, nor did she mispronounce a word in Common, a language she had only recently learned. "I'm getting better at Common." Narumi laughed in Yamani. "Oh, go away, Yuki. Let me wash and we will go to breakfast. Then we will go to meet your Knight and my Sergeant."  
  
Yuki scowled before marching out of Narumi's room.  
  
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Narumi sighed, feeling the cold water run her sticky sweat off of her body. She stood in a contraption, recently invented by someone, called a shower. She liked the thing.  
  
Above her, on the roof was a cistern of water that is pumped into it every morning. One with the Gift could warm the water if they pleased. You pulled a string in the box and water ran down the pipes to the shower and drenched you in the cold, or hot water.  
  
Narumi pulled the string next to the first one and shut off the water. She stood for a moment and let the water drain some before stepping out of the shower. She grabbed one of the large, fluffy drying cloths be the door and wrapped herself in it. Taking another one, she wrapped her long, purple- black hair into a turban.  
  
Narumi pulled a thin kimono of pale pink on. Then she wrapped her olive green kimono over it. The edges of the green kimono were embroidered in a darker green of leaf and vine pattern. Her stiff obi was a shade of olive green, slightly darker than her kimono. On her feet, she pulled on brown silk slippers.  
  
Narumi dropped the cloth from her hair and begin to pull a comb through her hair. She brushed it straight and then separated a portion from the left side and braided it. Once done, she did the same on the right and to a portion on the back of her head. Then she looped the three braids to look as if they were curtains draping on a window. Into her hair she plaited cherry blossoms of the palest pink, matching her inner kimono.  
  
Then Narumi applied the thinnest layer of white rice powder as she could get away with and colored her eyelids a simmering green paint. Her lips were painted with a simmering pink color. Narumi then stood and exited her room.  
  
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"Princess." The Yaman men called out in respect as they bowed to her. The Tortallan men stood and bowed to her as well calling,  
  
"Lady." Narumi bowed back to them and stepped aside so that they could greet Yukimi as well. Narumi glanced around the crowded inn looking for a table. Narumi sighed in annoyance when she saw the only table that had room for Yuki and herself was the table where Kenichi sat.  
  
"I suppose we must sit with Kenichi." Narumi whispered to Yuki. She pulled her pink fan from her obi and flicked it open. She held it so that it covered the lower portion of her face and glanced over at Yuki. She had done the same thing.  
  
"Oh how I loathe the man." Yuki answered. Narumi led the way to the table and stood slightly behind Kenichi, waiting for him to acknowledge the two women. Kenichi continued to fork spoonfuls of food into his mouth. One of the other men, Tenshi nudged Kenichi. He glanced up and looked at the two women for a moment.  
  
"What may I do for you Ladies?" He stood and bowed mockingly. Narumi took a deep breath and bowed back to him.  
  
"May this unworthy servant of the Emperor sit with you?" She asked, still low in her bow. Yuki was only a syllable or two behind.  
  
"Do you think that I, Kenichi noh Ajikuro, would really lower myself to eating with poor excuses for Yaman women?" He spat, only to cause the surrounding Yaman soldiers who had heard to jump to their feet, each ready to defend their Princess. Narumi sucked her breath through her teeth, trying to calm herself down. "Marrying Easterners like dirty little pigs. Pathetic Easterners at that. It is not surprising that a proper Yaman Man could not be found for either of you."  
  
"I pity you." Narumi spoke, the soft, deadly tone the only indication of her hate for the man. "No, I feel sorry for the woman who will one day marry you. As Daughter of the Sun, I will see to it that the only woman who marries you will be one who deserves you. I pity your closed mind and you. You are a sorry excuse for a Yamani." She turned and stalked off. "Bring me breakfast in my room." She murmured to Tenshi and left the inn.  
  
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"And you say I have spent too much time with the Easterners." Yuki commented as she plopped down on the couch next to Narumi.  
  
"He spoke ill of Dom and Neal." Narumi answered as if they were the answer to everything. "I don't like it when people speak ill of my friends. And he spoke ill of you."  
  
"Princess? Lady?" Tenshi poked his head into Narumi's room. "I have brought you breakfast."  
  
"Come in, Tenshi-chan. You are always welcome." Narumi stood and bowed to the man who was like a brother to her.  
  
"You are still upset." He observed, setting the food-covered tray down. Narumi made a face and looked up at him.  
  
"You certainly are observant today." She said, her eyes leaping with amusement. Leave it to Tenshi to find a way to cheer her up. She picked up a turnover and quickly ate it. "Do hurry and eat, Yuki. I wouldn't want to be late meeting our men."  
  
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FIN DE CAPITULO UNO  
  
That's it for chappie one! It isn't nearly as long as I want it to be, but sadly, I've got to get to doing homework. It's nearly 8 o'clock and I've still got to finish my Algebra stuff, Spanish worksheet, and I've got like 4 chapters in Lord of the Flies to read and Analogy Stems chapter 1-20 to memorize and each chapter is like 25 stems...BLAH!  
  
"That's what you get for spending 3 hours talking to people online and then spending an hour writing this!"  
  
SHUT UP DRANIC! For you're information, I got my history paper written and I finished that evil take-home chemistry test! And that time I was online talking, I was getting Gillar Dig by Emma from Lene and I was getting chemistry help from Geanise and Priya and I was talking to Nyssa about school and colleges. Thank you very much! And I spend a good part of the last hour eating dinner!  
  
"Sure..."  
  
*Stuffs Drannic's jar into the closet. *  
  
Hey everyone! Promoting some good Danish Pop Music. Gillar Dig by Emma. I've no clue what they're saying, but it's a good song. Great for dancing and working out to.  
  
Anywoo, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll have another soon!  
  
~Icebyrd67 (February 16, 2003) 


	3. Alone

Disclaimer: I STILL don't own the characters, but I would like to invite Neal to come live in my closet next to Vincent Kartheiser and Elijah Wood.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
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"So tell me again about this Narumi?" Kel reached over to grab the pitcher of honey. She looked up into Neal's green eyes as she drenched her food in the golden syrup.  
  
"I don't know too much about her. Only that Dom thinks she's the most amazing thing in the world. Lady Narumi noh Satoya is her name. I was hoping you knew of her. After all, you did live on the Yamani Islands for a good part of your life." Neal popped a piece of fruit into his mouth.  
  
"I don't remember any ladies named Narumi. I remember the family name, though. The last person I know of with that name was a commoner who married a Princess. I can't remember what rank the Princess was, however. I remember the Princess, very vaguely. She did have a daughter, but I don't know if the child's name was Narumi. I remember the Princess died in a Scandran raid. Her husband died defending her. I don't know what happened to the girl. I can't remember if she died as well or not."  
  
"Oh well." Neal stood, stretching. "Do you want to come with me and Dom to go meet the girls? It'd be fun." Kel stood as well.  
  
"I can't. I promised Lord Raoul I'd be about to play 'Pop Kel from the Saddle' with him."  
  
"At least you don't have to play 'Hide from the Ex-Knight-Mistress Because She'll Bite You'." Neal answered, finishing off his fruit juice. "Let's go see if we can't find Dom, at least."  
  
"No need to come find Dom. He's here and ready to go get his Lady." Dom gestured dramatically and excitedly at the door. "So let's go get her!" Neal laughed and clapped Kel on the shoulder as a silent bye and followed Dom out the door.  
  
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September 25, 461  
  
I don't understand. I have never once felt this way about anyone. But for some reason, I feel like crying. Just to bawl my eyes out about how I feel. Why does Dom have a lady? And it didn't help that he looked so good in that blue tunic. I just wanted to melt to his feet. Domitan of Masbolle is the most handsome man I'd have ever seen...  
  
Kel sniffed, holding back her tears as she slowly closed her journal. It was her best friend. A better friend to her than Neal ever was or could be. She wasn't sure why, but everything just felt better if she wrote it down.  
  
Suddenly she jumped when her door flew open. The woman walking in shouted in surprise.  
  
"My lady, my apologies. I had not known you were here!" The servant said, picking up the rags she had dropped.  
  
"Oh, it's no problem. I was on my way out. If my Lord Raoul comes looking, please tell him that I am out in the orchards. If anyone else comes looking for me, I'm just out. No where in particular." Kel stood and gathered her papers. Just her journal, a wooden slab that she used as a writing desk while she was out, and another book.  
  
"Yes, my lady." The servant curtseyed and moved out of the way so that the Lady Knight could pass.  
  
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Kel strolled along the dirt lanes, enjoying the quiet, faux-country air. If there was one thing she missed about the Scandran War, it was the air, the quietness, and the farms. She was from the north, where the people farmed for food and everything was relatively quiet.  
  
Where she was from, no one would bother her unless it was important. She could disappear into the woods for hours on end without a search party being sent out. She missed that. She had regained some of that while running New Haven.  
  
But after the September when she and Neal had gone to Steadfast to meet Yuki and Buri, they had learned that Yuki had to return to the Yamani Islands immediately. Of course that had broken Neal's heart. She and Neal returned to New Haven and about 4 months later, they received a letter to return to Steadfast.  
  
When they got there, Lord Wyldon informed them that they were relieved of their positions and were to return home. Kel had protested. She hadn't wanted to leave her charges by themselves, but when she learned that the newly knighted Owen of Jesslaw was to take her place, she quickly agreed.  
  
So here she was, almost over a year after the rebuilding of New Haven, utterly alone and miserable. She didn't even have Tobe to keep her company. Fanche and Saefas adopted Tobe and a good number of the other orphans of New Haven after they married. Kel choked back a sob and hurried down the lane to get to the apple orchards. She wouldn't be bothered by anyone else there, and that was all she wanted.  
  
Kel sat against a tree, and let the quiet sobs wrack her body. She needed this so badly. To let all the emotions out of her and just sit back and look at her life. Was this really what she wanted? To be a knight, yes, she had wanted that badly. But to be downright alone was not something she'd bargained for.  
  
Kel waited for the tears to stop flowing before she opened the book she carried. The pages were blank except for at the beginning. Those pages were filled with charcoal sketches and even some ink sketches. Kel sighed, ready to indulge herself in one of her newest pastimes. It was silly, yes for a Lady knight, but Kel loved the work.  
  
Kel flipped to the first blank page and pulled out a charcoal stick. She began to draw the designs coming to her head. Her hand moved on its own, sketching first the lines, then returning to fill the lines with a more definite shape. The same of a bodice came, followed closely by a skirt, that was simple, yet very flattering.  
  
She pulled her hand away and put the charcoal down and leaned back to admire her work. It was one of the many gowns and outfits she designed. Sometime when she was free, she'd take them to Lalasa, the only other person who knew of her hobby, and have her look into them. Lalasa would make the ones she felt she could throw into the world of fashion and put the design on one of the high ladies of court.  
  
Kel loved it. The feel of thrill and conceitedness of the fact that the ladies that shunned her were wearing her designs. She liked how it made them hypocrites. It was fun for her.  
  
Kel put down the book and picked up her journal. She flicked it open and began to read her old entries...  
  
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That's it for now... I wanted to get a chapter up, so here it is! I hope you like it!  
  
"I liked it! NOT!"  
  
SHUT UP DRANIC! And don't worry, this fic will live up to its title... ;)  
  
~Icebyrd67 (February 19, 2003) 


	4. Contradicting

Disclaimer: GAH! I still don't own anything. Grrr..  
  
Chapter 3  
  
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"So tell me again why you're so in love with Narumi?" Neal tilted his head to one side. Dom looked at him in a look of utter disgust.  
  
"Because she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I thought we went over this already. Why do you love Yuki so much? And why in the world haven't you married her? I thought that you had wanted to get married before you headed off to war."  
  
"We didn't want to risk the chance of her becoming a widow. You know it's harder to find a husband for a widow. If I had died in the war, her family would have been pressed to find her a husband, and one who would take a widow. Didn't want to risk that on her or her family. So why didn't you marry Narumi and why didn't I know about her until just today?"  
  
"Narumi and I weren't sure if what we felt was love. We decided that it would be better for her to go back to the Yamani Islands and think over our relationship. If she felt it was right for us to pursuit it, then she would come back with Yuki and we would wed. And I never told you about her because I was scared that she wouldn't come back and I didn't want to face that and you and everyone else. Besides, if I told, Lord Raoul would be out for my head because then he would have to find a replacement for me. I wouldn't want that."  
  
"That sounds very logical. My hope is that by the end of all of this, we find Kel a sweetheart. She just seems so alone. She puts on that 'everything's fine and gravy' façade, but you know that deep down inside, Kel is one very lonely woman. I feel really bad about it, too. She had Cleon until he had to gallop off to marry Ermelian of Aminar and I don't think she took that quite as well as she made out to have. I heard her crying that night, after everyone had gone off to bed. Kel needs someone to love."  
  
"Yes, she does. I hope that we can find someone suitable for her. I mean, it wouldn't be right for us to force a man on her, but I would like to see her in the company of more men than just us, Third Company, and the rest of your knight friends. Most of them have gone off and paired up to be married or at least courting someone. I mean, even that scallywag, Owen has a lady. What's her name?"  
  
"Janatrice. Janatrice of Ancar. Gods above do not get him started on her. He sounds almost as bad as I did over Uline of Hannalof back when I was a page." Neal laughed, remembering the immature self he had once been. "The forest is ending. We'll be getting to town, soon. I wonder how the girls are holding up?"  
  
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"Gods!" Yuki cursed, unable to find the kimono she had wanted to wear. "Where in the world is my lavender kimono?"  
  
"Under the stack over there." Narumi pointed, fixing an earbob into her lobes. Tenshi watched the two women scramble about and bit back laughter. Finally, he exploded in laughter, nearly falling out of his chair while he did so. Yuki spun around with a look of fury in her face. Tenshi quickly straightened himself out as she marched over to his side.  
  
"Just what exactly do you find so amusing?" Yuki demanded, snarling with her hands on her hips. Tenshi grew quiet.  
  
"Nothing." He whispered, looking at the floor.  
  
"Liar. What?" She ordered him to speak.  
  
"I just like the way you get so worked up over this. I think it's rather sex--" Tenshi trailed off, realizing what he had just said. His eyes grew huge. "Please excuse me!" He jumped up, bowing several times before running out of the room as if he had just walked in on someone in the middle of an intimate act. The two girls stood in silence for a minute or two.  
  
"Well, that certainly was strange and unusual." Narumi finally said, turning her attention back to her earbobs.  
  
"Did he almost say what I thought he almost said?" Yuki asked in confusion.  
  
"He most certainly did. He thinks you're sexy. I think that's rather sweet. If you weren't betrothed to Nealan, I would encourage you to look into this matter. I do, however, encourage you to speak to Tenshi soon. Before you and Neal get married. I think that you and Neal should get started off in your marriage with a clean slate. He shouldn't have any admirers, nor should you. I'd have to speak to Dom about that too. Poor Tenshi. I know it took a lot out of him to say that. With him being very much in love with you and all. Poor cousin of mine."  
  
"Cousin? In love with me?" Yuki shouted in despair.  
  
"Oh, yes. Tenshi is my cousin. That's the only reason why Grandfather would trust him to guard me. Otherwise Grandfather wouldn't even allow a common born man near his 'Daughter of the Sun'. Tenshi's mother is my father's sister. It's rather nice, having cousins. And yes, Tenshi loves you. He has for quite some time. He was just always afraid to tell you. And when he was so sure he would, you met Neal. Tenshi wrote so much poetry over you then. Most of it was rather good, and sweet."  
  
"Oh Gods above! When did all of this happen? And why did he choose now to reveal his secrets?" Yuki cried, throwing on her lavender kimono as she did so.  
  
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"The girls are probably fine. If I know them, and I think I do, they'd be drinking tea and waiting for us, looking very perfect." Dom answered Neal.  
  
"I don't know. They may seem calm, but you haven't seen Yuki panicking. I have. It's not a very pretty sight." Neal calmly examined a bruise on his wrist. With a flicker of his emerald-green healing Gift, he healed the small bruise. (AN: sound familiar?)  
  
"True I haven't seen Yuki in a panic, but I can tell you that my Narumi keeps a very cool head in panic-situations."  
  
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"PANICKING!" Narumi screamed, throwing things about the room. "WHERE ARE MY SHOES???"  
  
"They're right where you left them, Narumi. Under your bed. Pay attention to things, okay?" Yuki pointed at the bed. "Hurry up. I want to meet the boys at the gates."  
  
"Calm down, Naru." She whispered to herself, as her heart thudded loudly against her chest. "Let's go." She slipped her shoes on and stood, following Yuki out the door.  
  
"I can't wait to see Neal. It's been too long since I've seen him."  
  
"And it's been too long that I have seen Dom. Sometimes, I'm afraid that he's gone off and found himself a pretty, little blond Tortallan and have completely forgotten about me. That is one of my biggest fears. That and he no longer loves me. I am so afraid." Narumi admitted, flipping her fan across her face to hide her shame.  
  
"Don't be ashamed. Every woman has those fears." Yuki scolded, pulling the fan down. "You know just as well as I do, that if he's done that, you can castrate him or something of that sort. I mean really make him a eunuch. Oh I could see you doing that to a man."  
  
"I can too." Narumi laughed. "Too bad I can't do that to Kenichi. That man needs years and year, decades and decades, even centuries of water to balance his stones." Yuki snickered.  
  
"I would love to help you do that. Oh only to rid us of that man. Why did the Emperor send him with us anyway? I never quite understood why."  
  
"Grandfather wanted the best protection for his Daughter. Kenichi is one of the best warriors out there. I think on the Islands, he is only second to Tenshi. And the high priestesses, of course. Maybe one day, I'll be stronger than him. Wouldn't that be fun?"  
  
"What would be fun?" Tenshi butted in, catching up with his charges. The two women only laughed harder, hiding their faced behind brilliantly colored fans.  
  
"Castrating Kenichi..." Narumi managed to spit out before returning to her hysterical state. Tenshi looked confused for a moment for before he realized what they meant.  
  
"Oh for the love of gods! Do you two women have nothing but time to be thinking of these things? I would think that two beautiful Yamani women would spend their time better and more wisely."  
  
"Oh, but we are. Our thoughts are simply to keep us entertained whilst we await our knights in shining armor." Yuki answered, her face perfectly composed again.  
  
"Speak for yourself, Yuki. You have the only knight in shining armor. I have a sergeant in armor. Muddy armor for that, nothing shiny for me." Narumi answered, just as seriously as Yuki had for Tenshi's question. Then she spotted something in the distance. "OH! The boys are here!"  
  
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That's it. This took me a while longer than I had wanted, but it's done. Yay! Sadly, it took me so long because I managed to lose Dranic. One word of advice to all the writers out there...DON'T LOSE YOUR MUSE! =D  
  
Oh, and I have no clue when I'm going to add all the good smutty stuff for you smut-addicts. I haven't decided, nor have I decided whom the scenes will involve.  
  
SPOILER!  
  
  
  
  
  
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SPOILER!  
  
  
  
  
  
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!  
  
  
  
In the next chapter, Kel will be revisiting her memories. Most of them will be about Dom and will explore her clandestine (did I use the word right?) love for him. Loads of smut-ish stuff in this. Exploring her fantasies as well... =P  
  
~Icebyrd67 (February 21, 2003) 


	5. Faerie Gowns, Soothing Drinks, and Dream...

Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing...ya'll should know that by now...=P  
  
Chapter 4  
  
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"Dom? Where are you?" Kel stood in the middle of the forest, glancing about her. "Domitan of Masbolle, this is not funny at all!" Kel ran her fingers through her long, russet curls. She picked up the hem of her skirt and walked down the dirt path, hoping to find Dom.  
  
"Kelandry! Kel!" Kel whirled about trying to follow the sounds of the voice.  
  
"DOM! Where are you?" Suddenly she screamed as someone grabbed her. The man laughed and pressed his warm lips to her shoulder.  
  
"Did I scare you, love?" He asked, taking her hand.  
  
"Only a little." She answered, falling deeper into his cerulean eyes. "Dom, I don't think what we're doing in right."  
  
"Shh." He murmured, pressing her hand to his lips. "Come with me." He walked off, leaving her behind. Kel sighed and lifted the hem of her skirts once again. "Hurry, Kel, hurry."  
  
"I'm coming. Where are you taking me? Dom, I don't understand! Where are we going?" Kel stopped abruptly as she came in view of the beautiful meadow. Dom smiled and come forward to take her hand and led her to the center.  
  
"Do you like it?" He whispered into her ear, holding her close. She glanced about. The small meadow seemed to be lit by faeries, as there were tiny white candles scattered about, so thick it lit the evening sky beautifully. The scent of wild roses was intoxicating. Kel could hear the bubbling of the trickling stream nearby.  
  
"It's exquisite, Dom." She breathed. He smiled and pulled her over to the cloth he had laid out. She sat next to him and watched as he opened the baskets.  
  
"I thought that you would like to have dinner out here. Just to get away from all of those knights and brutes and be treated as a lady just for a while. And I'm glad you like it, Kel." Kel looked down at the food and glared at Dom.  
  
"Strawberries and cream? Chocolates? Domitan of Masbolle, are you trying to seduce me?"  
  
"I never said anything about trying." Dom answered, leaning in to kiss her throat. He trailed a string of kisses from her chin to the top of her shirt. Kel moaned involuntarily.  
  
"Goddesses, I never said to stop." She snapped, trying to sound angry when he pulled away. He only laughed and picked up a pick of fruit.  
  
"So you like this, then?" Dom dipped the strawberry into the whipped cream and brought it to Kel's delicate mouth.  
  
"Yes." She answered, taking the fruit from him. Dom leaned in and put his lips to hers, tasting the sweet berry on her. His kiss grew into a passionate one as Kel wrapped her arms about Dom.  
  
"Kel," Dom said in a ragged voice when they parted slightly. "I want you so bad. I want to take you here and now..." Kel sucked her breath, trembling in Dom's arms.  
  
"Then don't stop." She finally answered, pressing herself closer to Dom...  
  
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Kel blinked, shaking the sleep from her. She groaned, feeling the arousal from her dream. This was not something she wanted to deal with, now that Dom was engaged to be married. She stood and dusted of her wrinkled tunic. Kel sighed, hauling herself over to the well in the orchard and drew herself a bucket of the cold water.  
  
She plunged her entire head into the water, hoping that she would wake up and/or shake the deep feelings from her. She pulled her tunic off and used that to dry her hair. Once dried, she put the tunic back on, ignoring the fact that it was wet, while her hair was not.  
  
She stood for a moment, contemplating whether or not she should go back to the castle to get Peachblossom or Hoshi. Or should she just walk to town to see Lalasa.  
  
Deciding to walk, Kel took the dirt path down to the road.  
  
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"Lalasa?" Kel stepped into the busy shop, looking a bit lost and out of place.  
  
"My Lady! I'll be with you in a moment!" Kel's former maid yelled, as she worked on pinning a gown for a lady who looked to be about 20 years of age. Kel groaned inwardly. She hated being around so many fussy women.  
  
"Move, you hussy of a woman!" A countess shoved Kel out of the way. Kel turned to protest but only burst out with laughter. Everyone around started at Kel as if she were insane. Kel only waved her hand at them and stumbled into Lalasa's office.  
  
"Just what was so funny?" Lalasa closed the door behind her when she entered the room. Lalasa scrambled to make tea for the two.  
  
"Oh, just that she called me a hussy and yet she was scuttling to get to the gowns that I had designed." Kel bit off a smile. Lalasa only grinned, setting the tea down in front of Kel.  
  
"I take it you're here to be fitted for Sir Neal's wedding?" Lalasa sat down and sighed as she lifted her feet onto a footstool.  
  
"No. Not yet. I'm here to give you some more designs I've done. I hope you'll like them." Kel shoved a fist full of papers across the desk.  
  
"Oh, no doubt I'll like them. The question is are any of them suited for the Queen or the Princesses. They'll need gowns since they are to be a part of the weddings coming up. And then Princess Kalasin will be marrying soon. Wouldn't that be something? The royal family wearing your designs, my Lady."  
  
"Oh, they aren't anywhere close to be suited for Thayet or the girls. And don't even suggest that I should design a gown for Kally's wedding. There's no way in hell. I'm not that good. They should look for designs by someone reputable, not me. I'm just an anonymous designer to them. Have them look at Veri Rang. She's quite good."  
  
"Veri's designs are used too much now. Almost any lady could wear her designs. You know that. The Queen and the Princesses need something new and fresh. You know that too. Besides, would you have Princess Lianne presented in court wearing something that every other girl would be wearing? I highly doubt that. Design her something beautiful to wear." Lalasa ordered Kel. Kel sighed; trying to remember what happened to the meek Lalasa she had once known.  
  
"Fine. But I will not design a wedding gown."  
  
"No, you won't need to. You've already done that. The Queen and Princess Kalasin came by earlier and they wanted to use your faerie princess design. I've already got the cloth ready to be cut and measured. Don't worry your head about that one."  
  
"WHAT?" Kel jumped up. "No! You've got to talk Thayet out of that! You can't let them do that! Oh, Kally'll be ruined. That gown was just for fun! Not to have anyone actually wear it! It's too revealing for a wedding! And much to tight! And it's just wrong for Kally's shape! Her legs are much too short. That gown was designed for someone with legs that never end. Oh, Kally'll be ruined!"  
  
"Which is why you'll be fixing that." Lalasa answered calmly, placing the papers for the gown in front of Kel. "The Queen noticed that and wants you to fix it some so it will be right for Princess Kalasin."  
  
"LALASA??" Dom's voice rang out throughout the shop.  
  
"GODS ABOVE!" Kel screamed.  
  
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Well, sorry it took me so long to spit this one out. I lost my muse for the longest time. It was horrid. I would sit down and try to right but nothing would come. =C and the chapter doesn't quite fit the spoiler I gave because I just couldn't get that written. But there is a bit of fun at the beginning. I've learned my lesson. Don't give spoilers unless you're sure of what's going to happen. =D and don't worry if you're confused. The next chapter will fix that. Hopefully.  
  
Thanks to all the reviews!  
  
Stacey: I know Connor slept with Cordy! EEPPPPP!!!!! Do you read spoilers for Angel? Because I read them and  
  
SPOILER FOR ANGEL  
  
  
  
SPOILER  
  
  
  
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SPOILER FOR ANGEL  
  
  
  
SPOILER FOR ANGEL  
  
  
  
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I'VE WARNED YOU!  
  
  
  
Cordy's pregnant with Connor's baby! EEP! Because Charisma Carpenter is really pregnant.  
  
O.o  
  
o.O  
  
And they're going to kill her off the show because she doesn't want to do it anymore and wants to be able to raise her baby! At least that's what I've read. But she is really pregnant.  
  
=D  
  
~Icebyrd67 (March 2, 2003) 


	6. Into the Looking glass

Disclaimer: I still don't own anyone, but I do want Neal...=D  
  
Chapter 5  
  
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Irnai smiled as she came out of her trance. Life for the Protector of the Small was just about to get interesting... Irnai loved when the gods allowed her to see into the life of Lady Knight Kelandry and her friends' lives. They were going to lead the most interesting lives.  
  
Her favorite part was when she saw something that was going to happen, and some little thing happened to change their fates. One small incident could change the course of everyone's destiny.  
  
Irnai loved it. Especially the fact that Sir Nealan, her friend, had is life so full of surprises. And he didn't like surprises too much. It was fun to watch him. His life's road was littered with little surprises. Not to mention the bigger surprises!  
  
Lady Kel doesn't like bombshells in her life much either and was in for one big eye-opener of an intrusion!  
  
Irnai grinned and gazes into the mirror that allowed her to see the present, past, and future. It was one of the instruments gifted to her by the Gods and she used it often to watch the lives of those she was put on earth to protect and watch over.  
  
The scene of Kel and the sewing shop soon loomed into view...  
  
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This is a short, short, short chapter that I just added to spice things up a little, if not a lot. I really just wanted to have Irnai in here somewhere. I like her character. I think Tamora Pierce needs to write a spin-off of Irnai and her life with Tobe. Yes, I'm shipping Tobe with Irnai. I think they would be so cute together. Or Tobe and Nealan's daughter. Or even Irnai with Kel and Dom's son. Lol. There I go inventing people again... Anywoo, I'd like to read fics about Irnai so if you have one, give me a shout in the reviews, okay?  
  
~Icebyrd67 (March 3, 2003) 


	7. A load of Confusion that doesn't deserve...

Disclaimer: Bah! Like I really own something. Ya'll should know that by now. O.o - o.O  
  
Chapter 6  
  
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"Neal!" Yuki yelled, throwing herself into her love's arms. Narumi glanced over just n time to see Tenshi wince.  
  
"It'll be alright, Tenshi." She whispered before urging her horse forward to greet her Dom. "My Lord, it is good to see you again." She bowed slightly in the saddle, not sure how she should greet the man, seeing as she wasn't even sure if he still loved her.  
  
"My lord?" He laughed. "Naru, since when have a been a 'lord'? Come here and give me a hug, love." Dom held his arms out to her. She grinned and jumped from her saddle neatly into his. "You've missed me then?" He asked grinning. Narumi didn't answer. She only pressed her pale lips to his.  
  
"Only so much I thought my heart would burst." She answered after pulling away. "Oh Dom! I was so sure that you'd left be for a pretty blonde Tortallan maiden! I was so sure!"  
  
"And she couldn't shut up about it!" Yuki added, looking over at the other two.  
  
"Shut up, Yuki!" Narumi threw her slipper at the other Yamani girl. "You aren't helping at all! Go back to loving your Knight."  
  
"Oh, I can do both at the same time!" Yuki retorted.  
  
"Princess?" Tenshi interrupted. Everyone turned and looked at him.  
  
"Princess?" Dom and Neal said at the same time in confusion. "Who's a Princess?"  
  
"EEP!" Narumi slipped from Dom's saddle and bowed to Tenshi. "Forgive me, sir Tenshi. My manners are atrocious." Tenshi bowed back with a grin on his face. "Sir Tenshi, this is Domitan of Masbolle and his cousin, Nealan of Queenscove. May I introduce my personal guard, Sir Tenshi? I have a load more milling about, too."  
  
"Princess?" Dom repeated, staring at his betrothed.  
  
"Umm, I suppose I had forgotten to mention that, didn't I?" Narumi noh Satoya twirled a strand of hair about her fingers.  
  
"Oh only one or twice." Dom answered, hurt filling his eyes. He couldn't believe that Narumi would keep something like that from him. "How many times could you have told me? I'm not fit to marry a Princess! What were you thinking? You should be off marrying some knight who'll inherit, like Neal!" Yuki shot Dom an evil look.  
  
"Dom let me explain!" Narumi said. "Yes, I am a princess! Do you need to know rank and all? Because if so, I'm a first ranked Princess. My blood comes directly from the Emperor. My mother was his youngest daughter. And my father was a common man. He was a blacksmith. My mother married him against the wishes of the royal family. Most people in the aristocracy over on the Yamani Islands do not count me as royal blood because my mother sullied it and my blood is no longer sacred. As a result, I am allowed to marry as I please. And grandfather has already approved. My grandfather loves me, regardless. Hell, he even named me Daughter of the Sun, making me the Highest Priestess and Protector of the Faith and Blood. So there! I'm a Princess and when the current Daughter passes away, I will be the most powerful woman on the Yamani Islands. Even more so than Grandmother."  
  
"Wow." Dom stared wide-eyed at his betroth. "You are so sexy when you're angry."  
  
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"I can't believe all you could say was 'you're sexy when you're angry'!" Narumi said, punching Dom in the arm for the third time.  
  
"If this keeps going, I may have a bruised there." Dom stated as he reached over to pop a bit of bread with strawberry cream cheese on it into her mouth. Narumi glared at him and only went on to continue yelling at him.  
  
"You are such a pig, Dom! I'll give you a bruise!" She hit him again.  
  
"Ow! That hurt!" Dom shouted, jumping away from Narumi.  
  
"I am so glad you don't say stupid things like that, Neal." Yuki said, snatching some fruit from Narumi's plate.  
  
"Say what?" Neal asked, tearing his eyes from the ceiling that he had been watching.  
  
"I take it back. You say stupider things." Yuki answered, dryly. "I swear you are a moronic man, Neal."  
  
"What did I do?" Neal demanded, staring at his betrothed.  
  
"Never mind! We had better head out. We do want to get back to Corus, don't we?" Yuki asked, standing up.  
  
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The ride back to Corus proved to be uneventful except for the heartbreak of Tenshi with every step and the troop of soldiers riding behind the Princess.  
  
"So this is the man who will marry our Princess." Kenichi sneered in Yamani, riding up beside Narumi. "I see you have found a way to marry lower than your mother did."  
  
"You are a pig, Lord Kenichi. I would thank you to keep your distance." Narumi responded, not looking at him.  
  
"So you can't even marry a Yamani peasant. You had to marry a dirty Easterner? A common Easterner? I know rats who are more fit!" He scorned the likes of Domitan.  
  
"Get away from me, Kenichi. Before I am forced to take actions against you."  
  
"What will you do? Send the common blood against me? I am of noh Ajikuro. Do you think I fear you?" Narumi glared at him and muttered a few words under her breath. Kenichi groaned as he felt a wave of pain overcome his body.  
  
"Have you forgotten that the Gift runs in the veins for the Royal? Or did you conveniently forget that? Or did you forget that because the gift is usually so insignificant that it is hardly noticed? Or did you forget that as Daughter of the Sun and of Royal blood, my gift is much more powerful than anyone else? Don't forget, Kenichi. I am stronger than you and I will not hesitate to remove you from my sight. So I suggest you remove yourself."  
  
Kenichi dropped back into rank with the other men as Narumi urged her horse up next to Domitan and the others of her party.  
  
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"So where are we going again?" Yuki asked, riding between Neal and Tenshi as they maneuvered their way through the crowded streets of one of Corus' many marketplaces and shop districts.  
  
"Lalasa's. We've got to get you measured for gowns for a few balls and whatnot. The Queen wants it. And the Princess. She's with child, by the way."  
  
"Shinto? Going to be a mother?" Narumi asked incredulously. "I don't believe that! No way would my little cricket ever be a mother! She already said that!"  
  
"No, she's with child. I'm her healer. I feel twins when I sense for them. Roald is so excited. His first children!" Neal answered.  
  
"I don't believe you!" Narumi said.  
  
"Oh, it's the truth! Look, we're almost at Lalasa's." Neal slowed his mount and dismounted, taking the reins to both Yuki's horse and Narumi's. Dom grinned and took Narumi's hand and shoved the crowded shop doors open.  
  
He called into the shop that was overfilled with ladies who were now shrieking because there were men in the shop or because they had seen Nealan of Queenscove. Recently, the Ladies of Court named Neal the Most Desirable Man in Court.  
  
"LALASA??"  
  
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That's it for now. It seems I can only write when I'm sitting at my computer at 4 in the morning or something of that sort. I write better when I am ready to fall over exhausted. Anywoo, this chapter is weird. Very much so.  
  
And for anyone who wishes to 'get rid of' Janatrice of Ancar; have fun trying. You're welcome to try of course, but she runs rampant in my mind, corrupting all things good and making it Owen. Please take her! I beg of you! If she would only make me think Neal or Faleron! Grr at her!  
  
And Cami, FAITH'S COMING BACK TO ANGEL TOMORROW! EEP!  
  
*Goes to turn on her DVD player so she can watch the first season of Angel all over again. *  
  
Man...i can't find my third season of Buffy. So I can watch Lover's Walk again! =P  
  
Oh! And everyone who thought I should change my summary, I guess I should. I haven't because it gets people who think I put the fic in the wrong place to look at it and my hopes are to get them hooked into the story. LoL!  
  
Anyone have any ideas for the next few chapters, gimme a shout in the reviews. FLAME AWAY! LoL.  
  
*Wanders off to go find her Lord of the rings fics and puts Noir in the DVD player instead of Angel. *  
  
~Icebyrd67 (March 4, 2003) 


	8. New Hope

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my characters.  
  
Author's note: It would appear I have been saying New 'Haven' for the refugee camp. I'd like to correct myself. It's New 'Hope'. Sorry!  
  
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"Lalasa, you've got to hide me!" Kel yelled in a panic as she ran about Lalasa's office.  
  
"Why? It's not that bad. Don't worry. I won't tell them they're you designs. If they ask, you only came by for a visit." Lalasa patted her former Mistress's arm. "I'm in my office!"  
  
"Lalasa!" Kel hissed at her, panicking.  
  
"Hello, Kel. I didn't know you were in the city today." Neal said with a nod of his head as he plopped himself onto a chair.  
  
"I was really bored so I thought I'd come do a bit of shopping." Kel answered, refraining from hitting herself on the head of her blatant lie.  
  
"Really now?" Neal asked, raising his eyebrow at her. Yuki elbowed him and he quickly blinked several times.  
  
"Umm, yeah." Kel answered. "Well, I'd better be getting back. My lord must be looking for me." Kel grabbed her things and quickly ran out of the room, brushing pass Dom as her heart beat wildly.  
  
"What's wrong with Kel?" Neal asked, plopping himself into a chair.  
  
"Nothing. My lady is just in a hurry." Lalasa answered calmly and pulled out a tea service. "Could I interest you in tea?"  
  
"No thank you, Lalasa. We're just here to introduce you to Narumi. And I thought you might want to go ahead and get measurements of the girls so we can start figuring out wedding dresses." Dom said, rubbing Naru's arm.  
  
"Of course. If the ladies would step behind the screen and if you men would please leave the office. And Sir Neal? I'd thank you to leave the shop all together. I highly doubt I can stand the shrieks of the women anymore. I'll send the Ladies back to the castle in a carriage later, if you'd like."  
  
"Oh, just leave our mounts here with Tenshi. We'll get back fine, Dom." Narumi stood up and pushed him towards the door.  
  
"Are you sure? Because I can stay and wait for you if you need me to."  
  
"I'm fine. Just go, Dom. Take Neal with you. Yuki and I can take care of ourselves."  
  
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"Hi, Kel." Neal said, sitting himself down on the bench next to her. "Having supper?"  
  
"It would look like it, Neal." She answered, putting some bread into her mouth.  
  
"Look, Kel. What's wrong? I know something's bothering you, but I'm just not sure what it is. Please tell me." Neal looked at her with worried eyes.  
  
"It's nothing, Neal. I'm just a little tired. Preoccupied as well." Kel answered as truthfully as she could.  
  
"Well, tired I can solve very easily." Neal pulled a small vial from his belt and opened the top and poured it into Kel's drink. Kel made a face and picked up the cup, watching the white powder dissolve.  
  
"What is it and how bad does it taste?"  
  
"It's a mix of powders to help you get over fatigue. And I'm not going to lie, it tastes wonderfully like cherries." Neal said. Kel shrugged and took a gulp of the mix. "Of course that'd be rotten cherries." Neal finished. Kel struggled to swallow the mixture.  
  
"You're going to die, Neal." Kel croaked, reaching for his glass. "The most horrible and painful death I can possibly think of. In the practice courts."  
  
"Well, it's been good knowing you, Neal." Owen grinned punching Neal lightly.  
  
"Owen!" Kel jumped. "When did you get back?"  
  
"This morning. My Lord let me go. He's got half a company up there watching New Hope. Besides, I needed to see my Janatrice." Owen grabbed an apple out of a bowl and took a bite. "How long have you guys been back?"  
  
"Since we were released from New Hope. Who's watching Haven, anyhow?" Kel asked, tilting her head to the side.  
  
"One of those uptight sergeants. Why?"  
  
"They left my people to some sergeant? What is Lord Wyldon thinking?" Kel demanded, jumping out of her chair. "I will not have my people at the mercy of some good-for-nothing sergeant who would probably mistreat them anyway. Absolutely not!" Anger overcame Kel. Gone were the days that she could control her emotions so well.  
  
"Kel! Calm down!" Neal pulled on her arm. "Sit down before you hurt someone."  
  
"You heard Owen. New Hope is in the hands of some incompetent sack of ooze and you have absolutely nothing to say to that?" Kel gritted her teeth.  
  
"They can take care of themselves. Have you forgotten that you trained each and every single one of them? Besides, they have half a company watching them."  
  
"Half of Third, if that makes you feel any better. And there are 2 squads of Riders there. Evin Larse is using Hope as his command central." Owen threw in, hating the fact that his friend was so upset.  
  
"But-" Kel started.  
  
"But what? You want to run off to New Hope and completely miss the weddings, don't you?" Dom sat down across from Kel.  
  
"No!" Kel quickly said.  
  
"Then calm down. New Hope will be fine. Don't worry. Besides, if you ran off to save your camp, you'd miss my wedding and Neal's wedding as well and I'd just have to kill you if you do." Dom reached for a roll.  
  
"Fine." Kel said after a moment with a resigned voice.  
  
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WOW! Aren't you guys so proud of me? I've finally managed to spit out a chappie! As horrible as it is, I've done it! *sighs* There's only 13 more days of school and then I'll be writing non-stop. I should go study. Or maybe I'll start on chapter 8.  
  
~Icebyrd67 (May 11, 2003) 


	9. Broken

Disclaimer: I don't own. Leave me alone about it.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
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"I think I'm going to go back to my room. Take a bath and then get some sleep." Kel said, yawning loudly.  
  
"I'll walk you." Dom said, standing.  
  
"That's okay. I can manage." Kel answered a little too quickly.  
  
"Nonsense. My room is that way, anyhow." Dom started towards the door. Kel cursed in her mind. She didn't want to walk anywhere with him. If anything, she wanted to stay far, far away from Dom.  
  
"Fine." She muttered under her breath, picking up her pace as she hurried, trying to get to her room so she wouldn't have to be around his oppressing voice, body, scent. To keep herself from doing anything too drastic.  
  
"Kel, what's wrong?" He asked, grabbing her arm.  
  
"Nothing." She snapped pulling her arm from his grip and slamming the door to her room shut to keep him from getting to her. She leaned against the door and gave a ragged sob. She had seen the hurt on his face. How couldn't she have?  
  
The gods were clearly playing a very big joke on her. There was no other explanation. It had to be the Trickster. No one else would screw with her like this. Her hands flew to her face as she slumped onto the ground, sobbing in her pathetic lack of will to live any longer.  
  
She'd been this way for a while now. Completely incapable of feeling anything but despair. It was the war that did this to her. Ever since she'd killed that Nothing Man. As if the human side of her was completely gone. She could only hate and despise. She felt nothing. She was moving and living only out of respect for habits.  
  
Then there was Dom. When she was with him, it was as if she'd come back to life again. She was a new person, lively and healthy with absolutely nothing wrong with her. So of course, he had to be in love with another woman. A beautiful, perfectly normal woman. And she, Kel, just had to be so lucky to be asked to be part of the wedding.  
  
She wouldn't stay, though. Not through the honeymoon period for the newlyweds. No, she'd go to the King himself and beg to be sent back to the Scandran border, back to new Hope, where she, at least, knew exactly where she stood. Then, one day when her people no longer needed her, she'd disappear. Maybe to Summersea, where the culture was so alive. She'd find herself again. Maybe even meet someone and forget all about Dom.  
  
But until she did, she just had to play the cold-hearted bitch to him and his soon-to-be bride. She couldn't get close to him. Not with the way she really felt. It wasn't right.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Neal asked, plopping down next to Dom. Dom grimaced as Neal spread his lanky body all over the bench, taking up nearly all the room.  
  
"Nothing." He stood as if to walk away. Suddenly he turned to face Neal again. "Does Kel seem any different to you? Cold, maybe?"  
  
"Kel? No. Why?" Neal asked, concerned. He hadn't noticed anything different about Kel. But then again, he had been completely absorbed in Yuki.  
  
"I dunno. She seemed—troubled." Dom finished lamely. He sighed, sitting down again, placing his face between his hands. "Its as if she's no longer the same person. As if she's been through so much that she's shut down completely. I can tell that she comes out of that catatonic state every so often, but most of the time, its as if she were a zombie or something. Like one of the war-hardened refugees that's lost everything. Or worst, one of those war-hardened teenage girls who were brutally raped as they watched their families die around them."  
  
"That seems a little harsh, don't you think?" Neal asked. But Dom was right, of course. Kel had changed. But then again, they all had. The Scandran War was hard on all of them. And on Kel, who had to follow her refugee children deep into the heart of Scandra to hunt down a crazed mage and his pet. She alone was the reason why he was still alive today. Why hundreds of people were still alive.  
  
"No. Its as if she'd not even there anymore. I'm worried about her, Neal. She's so—she's so, gods Neal, I don't even know anymore. I hate seeing her like this and I hate it even more that I can't help her fix it and I hate myself for being so happy when one of my greatest friends is so—broken."  
  
"First off, Domitan, Keladry is not broken, so quit saying that. She's just still depressed over the War. It was hard on her and on everyone. She faced a lot of death, you know? Besides, it's Kel. She sees every death that occurs as a failure in herself to keep from protecting the 'small'."  
  
"She shouldn't be so hard on herself. I don't know if you've noticed this, Neal, but the walls of this castle are quite thin in many places including where our rooms just happen to be. And I happen to be in the room next to Kel's and I hear her crying every night, late at night when most everyone is asleep and usually, her crying is for several hours, lasting from near midnight to past dawn. I know. I've stayed awake through most of those sessions wishing there was something I could do for her!"  
  
"She's what?" Neal asked in disbelief. Kel would never cry. She was the strongest person he knew.  
  
"She's broken, Neal. She's broken somewhere and I want to fix it!" Dom gave a bitter laugh. "I need to fix it. I can't marry Narumi until I know Kel will be all right. Don't you get it, Neal? I'm partially responsible for what happened to Kel. I led her on, making her think that we could have something after the war. I know it. The men have told me that's how Kel felt about me. I didn't even—didn't even know." Dom sobbed indignantly.  
  
"Dom, I—"Neal approached his cousin cautiously.  
  
"Forget it." Dom snapped, storming out of the courtyard. He'd solve this problem himself. He made it, he broke her, and he'd fix her. He just had to. She was depending of him.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
AN: COR! I've finally gotten around to working on this fic. It's been like a YEAR since I've updated, huh? I feel bad about that. I'm going to try to finish this off as quickly as possible, okay? I have a general idea of where it's going now. Its not going to be at all like what I thought it would be when I started writing more than a year ago.  
  
Sorry it took so long. I just lost my muse.  
  
~Icebyrd67 (May 2, 2004) 


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